Mormonism 101

Disclaimer: If you are looking for a history of the Mormon Church this is the wrong place. Wikipedia, the Book of Mormon, and South Park have done a far better job than I ever could. This is simply the truth of living in Utah and the endless baggage that goes along with it.

It’s always funny traveling to other places around the world and telling people that you’re from Utah. Whether it’s Wyoming, Canada, or even Singapore everyone seems to have some very preset notions of what people from Utah are like. The conversation usually starts with and always leads to, “So does that mean that you’re a Mormon?” Some people are tentative about asking, others very forward, but the topic always comes up and I find myself not only explaining that I’m not a Mormon, but also that not everyone in the state has twelve wives either. Don’t get me wrong, there are numerous stereotypes that many Mormon families and individuals fall right into but it’s always the outrageous and the outlandish ones that people hear about, the ones that represent a tiny portion of the Mormon Church and even smaller part of the state as a whole.

First off, polygamy, this topic has been beaten to death from all sides for as long as I can remember. Whether it is massive polygamist colonies being discovered across the state, or TV series being based off the idea, this has been the singular most popular topic that is connected to the Mormon Church. In reality polygamy is an ancient Mormon practice that has been all but dropped from nearly all sections of the church. The only group that still embraces the practice is the Fundamentalist Church of Ladder Day Saints. These are the core group of individuals who are essentially a cross between the Amish, Pilgrims, and every preconceived notion you have about Mormons as a whole. Living in small colonies out in the desert, they’re influence on the image of the rest of the Church is equivalent to that of fundamentalist groups of Islam. Just like not every Islamic churchgoer is a suicide bomber, not every member of the LDS Church is a polygamist. Understand? Good. Moving on.

Conservatives. Yeah we have quite a few of those floating around Utah. Being the most conservative state in the Union has its roots in the Church where hyper-obedience is expected and that’s what is almost always offered up by all its members. In other words, “have blind faith in God…and everything we tell you to do.” This causes the church to have control over a majority of the population, and since the church is ultraconservative, all its members are, you guessed it, ultraconservative. This results in a slew of government policies and social practices that are interesting to say the least, but I’ll get into those later.

You want sexual repression? Don’t worry, we got it. Whether it’s your sexual preference, public affection, or even the amount of nudity at strip clubs, the church has a direct influence on it both in a social and legal manner. Walking down the streets of downtown Salt Lake City on a Sunday morning can be equated to a massive ‘Leave it to Beaver’ episode. No affection, no minorities, no skin, just perfectly ironed abstinent suits and obedient dresses as far as the eye can see.

The list goes on and on, and with almost every oddity or quirk within the state you’ll find the Mormon Church standing behind it. Every block a church, every family six kids with a dog, and every parent a valium addiction, that’s the Mormon way.